About

So you want to know about Kurt Smith?

Ok…you asked for it…

Kurt was born in the black lagoon a little over thirty years ago.

It is said that his mother was a Jackal and his father was some kind
of half-breed mountain-man, who may have been of unnatural birth
himself.

For 29 years he wandered those woods, learning to fend for himself.

In that time he learned many skills, not the least of which was how
to stay fit and healthy while travelling, and also how to spin a pen around
his thumb.

Then he decided it was time to go to the city in search of new challenges
and fast food.

He spent some time as a (cannot be named) before realising that this profession
was actually a torture system designed by the Illuminati so they could gamble on
how long people would last and how much punishment they were willing to
take if they just told them to.

Then he turned his considerable intelligence and good looks towards helping
folks lose weight and get strong enough to lift a cow (a baby one).

He found this rewarding and kept it up until his untimely death in 2085…
which hasn’t happened yet obviously but it has been foretold by a soothsayer,
so it’s pretty much a given.

Need to know more?…send him an email at kurtsmithpt@gmail.com.